I could explain all of this but I will just post the url to the website I am obeying…
I do not want to work for people who do not tell me what they want.
I do not want to become evil because I do what I want.
I do not want to feel like my life is meaningless.
I do not want to constantly find ways to numb the pain
I do not want to blow my chances at life, and my dreams
I do not want to live in the ghetto
I do not want to be afraid to go out on the streets because there might be gangs
I do not want to be alone
I do not want to be alone.
I do not want to be so caught up in material things and know it is just because I am filling a void
I do not want to run away from what I’ve always longed to do-my calling-forever
I do not want to become an actress only to becomes a nun five minutes later
I do not want to live in a big house by myself
I do not want to work a normal people job
I do not want to be away from acting ever in my life
I never want to live without my artsy friends from ave
I never want to live away from those who value the arts
I never want to live away from people who talk about art
I never want to live alone
I never want to be so alone
I do not want to be stuck in one place forever
I do not want to go crazy
Well, let’s end it there for now and go to here
Part 2: My Utopia
I want to have a lot of money-not becase I care about money but because I want to have a beautiful beach house that I want to decorate, maybe in Malibu like a lot of actors, and live there with my kids, but keep it beautiful all the time.
I want a maid. I hate cleaning. I am bad at it. I want a maid.
I want a Corvette, not for any good reason, just for fun.
I want to own a town like Ave, and go to it all the time.
I want to stroll around italian style beatiful places.
I want to travel EVERYWHERE, and be safe-without worrying someone is going to kill me.
I want to live near my family
I want to have a family
I want a man who smokes cigars in the dream den in my head
I want to snuggle into his chest while he reads poetry to me.
I want to read and write and perform poetry
I want to talk about all of the arts all the time with people, particularly poetry and movies
I want to be BFFS with Florence and the Machine, Jennifer Lawrence and Lana Del Rey
I want to meet Lady Gaga….not because I like her, but because I have had her in my prayers for years.
I want to be an actress.
I don’t just want to be an actress, I want to be REALLY good.
I want to win an academy award, or two or maybe even more than any other actress EVER.
Might be cool if they threw in a star on the walk of fame.
I want to keep writing and publish a pretty book
I want to design clothes
I might want to sing and make music videos
I want to travel
I want to have the world open at my feet and do things I never dreamed of
I want to love
I want to be Young and Beautiful
I want to stop feeling like my life might as well be over
I want to like me
I want to be in shape
I want to be beautiful
I want to be free from this whole being stuck thing.
I want to want to be faithful to God competely, and I want Him to love me. I want to be good enough.
So that’s what success means to me,
It’s not a presto easy change-o plan—I know…but the thing is…it still kinda hurts.