Why I Made My Decisions?

I have always been one who has struggled with regret and seeing the worst in everything. This post is to help me when I regret things, to move on and keep going!

Why I Broke Up With My First Boyfriend
The Situation: Parents told me to break up with him, it broke my heart but I obeyed them

Why I Did It:God has asked us to obey our parents, I figured He could not punish me for obeying them, so there MUST be some good that would come from it, and we will end up together if we are supposed to.

What I Learned From it: Afterwards, I gave up a lot of my opinions and started living solely according to my parents beliefs, that carried through to college and led me to make some really stupid mistakes. Through that I learned how important it is to take on your own opinions as an adult and live according to what you believe, while maintaining respect for your parents as gifts from God.

Why I Went to Undergrad Where I Did
The Situation: I wanted to go to one college, and didn’t go because I didn’t quite get a full tuition scholarship, and we didn’t have much money. Instead, I went to a college that offered me more money, but still ended up with a ton of debt-probably more than I would have had from the other college

Why I Did What I Did:We prayed that God would make the money work out for where I wanted to go, and it didn’t seem like it would, but the second best was to go to this other college

What Did I Learn From It:If you really believe you are meant to be somewhere, and you don’t go because you don’t trust God, it will bug you FOREVER, it will leave a hole in your heart that lasts. 

If you do take the wrong road, God will use it to teach you the things you need to learn to make the right decisions later. 

The college I chose ended up teaching me so much, and I am so grateful for it, but there are things that would be a little better if I had chosen the other direction.

THAT BEING SAID, even if you make the wrong decision, God will not stop blessing you. He still loves you and will shower wonderful wonderful things down on you, if you allow Him.

Why I Went to Graduate School

The Situation:I spent a lot of money on grad school—directed towards a job I didn’t really want. Also, against the advice of a great professor I know.

Why I Did It: I was not ready for the working world. I needed to still be around artistic people and I didn’t know how else to get there.

What I Have Learned From It: DO NOT get a Masters, or go to School for something if you have to pay a ridiculous amount of money for something, especially if the job you are working towards doesn’t give much of a return. They use these programs to make money. Go for a PhD or a MFA where they will pay for you to take the classes! 

Acting and acting classes are AMAZING. They were my life and breath for one very hard semester. I would have gone crazy, but I had that-so I was fine.

I learned how to work for my own money, and that I am free to live on my own if I want to

I do not like living right smack dab in the center of a city.

I LOVE fashion.

If I am being creative and I have friends that support my creativity-I am happy.

I cannot let “now-wants” get in the way of “forever-wants”

I like literature, but only when it is taught by people who treat it like it is still alive

I have odd taste, and that’s ok

There are people out there who can love in ways that I don’t even know

There aren’t bad people, there are lost people

There are people that are so lost that they infect the world around them and bring it down

It is ok to take a job for security purposes to figure out what’s next

I am WORTH something, it is NOT ok to be at a job where I am being treated badly

God loves me, and therefore I should treat myself like someone valuable

Why I Took the Youth Ministry Job
The Situation: I took a youth ministry job that wasn’t quite what I wanted, but it paid enogh money for me to live on my own

Why I Did It:I needed security, and I figured I could be stable for a while and then make a move to somewhere that I could do what I really want.

What I Am Learning: Being somewhere that isn’t where you really want to be is EXPENSIVE

I can’t do small town, I need to be near a big city

I HAVE to be around poets

I absolutely MUST be able to spend time doing my creative endeavors with other people

I should not live alone

I need to work on consistency

Living is expensive

Sometimes you just have to say “Screw money, this has to happen.”

LISTEN TO YOUR GUT

TRUST GOD

Spend time in adoration, prayer, with scripture

I am not called to be a youth minister forever

Make sure to pray before accepting any job

Don’t apply for jobs you don’t want-you’ll get the one you want right afterwards

Be patient

Be HONEST

Sometimes spending time and gas on something you really care about is ok

If you want to do something-just do it, God will make the money work out

WORK OUT, a fitness center is 100% necessary in my life

Food is expensive when you want to eat right, allow for that

Sometimes you just have to spend the money, and you just have to trust God on that

 

Why do I get so caught up in regrets? I get really caught up in regrets when I strongly feel that I am not in the right place. What I need to be aware of is that right now I am in the right place for the path I chose, but if I am feeling this way, I need to pay attention to it, and GET ONTO THE RIGHT PATH. I get very depressed when I am in the wrong one, and I feel like there is no point to life. I am going to end up a severely unhealthy person of body, mind and spirit if I do not follow what I deeply believe and desire.

 

“If you do not live what you believe, you will believe what you live.”