C25K Day 1 Journal

Ok, so it’s been a long time since I’ve written, quick recap of what’s happened in my life since then. I didn’t make it to LA last year like I wanted to-but I got married! We miscarried-twice as of a couple weeks ago, and went through a LOT of crazy stresses that I am sure I will eventually talk about on here, but I don’t have time tonight. Anyway, I have been struggling with depression for most of my life, and I just got into therapy for it, and am making some big life changes to try to help with it as well. One of my friends who also struggles with depression started doing C25K(a program that helps you to start running and eases you into running 1 hour 3 times a week) and I have been watching her blog posts-long story short I’m doing it! And at my friend and therapist and husband’s recommendation, I am going to start journaling about the running and about my depression and my life.

So there’s my intro. I don’t have much emotional energy left for writing, but I will write a little. It was really hard for me to decide to do this, I kept trying to chicken out-but I didn’t. My husband offered to do it with me and I can’t even say how much that helped. It was hard to keep going. I have this thing about the permanence of things-it scared me to death running that I want to do this forever. That always happens when I try to make a good habit. SO HARD! We tried eating healthier a couple of weeks ago and that lasted approximately 2 weeks. SUCK! But, I made it through tonight.
I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed now though-so time to play some Mario-it’s my drug of choice!

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