…

I wish I was dead.

There are a few things I do NOT mean.

1. I do not mean I am going to kill myself, so don’t even pick up your phone-that would mean I would go to Hell and it’s not the “correct” thing to do. Not to mention the fact that killing myself would just cause more pain while I was in the process, and I am already having a hard enough time and I can’t take anything more than this. Also, I’d probably screw it up and end up in the hospital.

2. I do not mean that I wish I was dying. That again just hurts and probably means I would have to spend the whole time in the hospital the fear of which is already a huge percentage of my problem.