Yoga is doing something to me. Everytime I come to yoga class something comes alive in me, or maybe it doesn’t come alive- maybe it just turns its head ever so slightly, like a sleeping dragon.
I have not written here in so long. So much has happened. I moved back in with my parents to get ready to move to LA, and instead I got married. We are planning on moving to Austin to get into indie film because LA is so expensive but I long for the beach, so who knows where we will end up.
We got married and everything was crazy getting ready between in laws and friend drama. Then, we lost two babies in the first year. Plus I have been trying to find a better job than retail for two years and my artistic side is starving. So, post partum depression, self esteem blows, and bitterness about losing important people in my life has changed me so much.
We finally moved out of our parents houses(his first then mine) and now I’m starting to breathe again, but most importantly I am now volunteering at a Yoga studio and I get free yoga. That’s when I breathe.
Also, suddenly I have left the Church I guess. Not on purpose, really. I never wanted to leave the faith, but in so many ways the religion has told me I am worthless and intrinsically evil and I cannot take it anymore. Now I’m exploring myself, may God forgive me or better, not be offended. I love Him to the end- but I need Him to love the real me.
Anyway, this is some manner of my apology for disappearing for what must have been a year except for some frightening posts. I will try to do better. I love you for reading, thank you for giving my writing a reader.