Dear Stay At Home Moms:
(disclaimer: I love being home with my kids, and my worst fear is having to leave them to go to work. But that doesn’t mean this isn’t hard.)
(also disclaimer: working moms, semi working moms, other moms, you are still moms so this goes for you guys too, and also, you will have another letter for you. This is just what I had to write tonight.)
Hi guys. I just joined you pretty recently. Like, so recently that I’m still that arrogant mom who thinks she’s perfect sometime. I haven’t had a complete mental breakdown yet, but I’m pretty darn close. I’ve got a couple things to say as the judgy kid-free I was taking my infertility out on you new mom of 2 under 2(well one just turned 2, but I’m not sure how to refer to this chaos in another way.)
1. Support each other. You already know this, but dude, people do not get this life. Even on taxes, you get a tax credit if you paid for care, but not if you stayed home to care for them. Like, seriously? What we are doing should be worth a shit ton of money. Like, a ridiculous amount of money. The ONLY people who get this completely are other moms who are actively IN it. No, not other moms who have been in it. They may kinda sorta get it, but not really. And the worst thing is that you are being told everyday in a million ways how completely worthless you are. Well, guess what? YOU ARENT!!!!!!!!!!! Just because our culture is stupid and doesn’t value us does not mean that we are worthless.(Am I saying this because I’m losing my sanity and I need to feel important, who knows, maybe? I’ll find out I’m wrong about it in ten years maybe like everything else I ever thought.)
2. Also because of everything I said in #1.
Hey, you are worth so much. You are providing love to those babes, a clean environment, a lower stress environment, you are working your ass off to make sure that they stay healthy, loved and well.
On top of that, you are trying to make money in other ways, you are trying to get time for yourself, you are trying to make meals.
On top of that, you are alone. A lot. And also never. Worst. Paradox. Ever.
3. Also, you are worth MONEY. Maybe calculate how much?
I’m literally planning on writing out all the things I save or make money doing so that I can prove how much me staying home is worth. Maybe then in the face of the voices in my head(not literal, just normal) I can defend myself.
4. Basically this is just #1 again, but it beats repeating. STICK TOGETHER. Ask for help from each other, but you may have to ask different people because some aren’t great at helping, don’t get gunshot(um, dear iPhone-that was dark, but ok sure don’t get shot. But how about also, don’t get gunSHY.)
Also, use whatever hurts you the most to create what will help the other yous out there the most. Even if it’s just in a little way.
That’s what I’m trying to do. Tonight I found a mom who had it harder than me and encouraged her. Then I wrote this. More to come. Lol
Finally, I was feeling stupid a week ago for how hard of a time I’m having, The Holy Spirit led me to look at the Scripture verse about the weeping women.
Jesus was on His way to DIE after having been BEATEN within an inch of his life and sweating BLOOD. He literally told the women to weep for THEMSELVES and their CHILDREN.
How many days have you spent doubled over in years over some unbearable suffering you have seen in your baby? How many times has the anxiety of living in this terrifying world seemed like too much? How many times have you ended the day shaking because you had nothing left?
Also, incidentally, looking up the exact verse of this story, I found out that people pray to the weeping women. So lets pray together:
Dear Weeping Women,
I cannot imagine being present there with Jesus being crucified. The fear, the anger, the helplessness, and hopelessness. Even in that nightmare, Jesus told you to weep for yourselves, and for your children. I think He was talking about all of us. Because once you are a mother, you are a spiritual mother to everyone. I believe God was telling us, during His pain, that our pain matters too. He cares. I sometimes try to pretend He doesn’t and that I have to do it all on my own, or I give lip service to His help, but when I really turn to Him, He is there. Weeping women of Jerusalem, pray for us. The world is suffering. Your children are suffering. There are so many of us suffering right now. Help us. We are hurting, and A mother cannot bear to see her children hurt. Help us.