I’m hitting that point where I always give up.
That point when the future looks so dark that I let go of my dreams and grab on to the closest security blanket.
That point when I try to find anything to make life more comfortable but destroy my future in the process.
That point when I have sent my confessions into the void and I begin to fear the humiliation.
That point when I decide none of my work is worth anything.
That point when I am convinced that no one will ever see my films, read my poetry, or touch my art.
That point when it seems like I can do nothing but fail.
This time I am fighting.
I am fighting so hard.
I am pushing, and I am standing still, and I am not wavering, but I can’t stop shaking.
I have so many things to say and they are falling into the void. I am in a race against the time that erases them from history.
I believe I am meant to do this, but all I hear is echoes of His disdain. I believe He loves me, but I am lost in His message and the false ones.
Don’t let me give up.
One day you will reap a reward
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