Christians and Black Lives Matter

TW: To anyone who is LGBTQ+ in my audience, some of this post may be difficult for you to read. As you know, there are very intense feelings in the Christian community about your status, and I am not saying what I say in this post to devalue you or your feelings or your community. I value you. You are valuable and important, and your voice is valuable and important. I just want Christians to understand that BLM is not a LGBTQ+ movement, but that their defense of LGBTQ+ people makes sense with their mission. 

https://blacklivesmatter.com/what-we-believe/

“Every human life is sacred, because every human person is sacred.”

-Pope John Paul II

Something that has been happening over the last couple of days on my facebook page is this trickle of christians proclaiming their opposition to Black Lives Matter, “I cannot support BLM as a Christian, just read their “what we believe.” I have seen this enough times for it to stop making me roll my eyes, and realize this is an actual danger.

Dear Christians,

No. You absolutely can support Black Lives Matter. In fact, many of the beliefs they are founded on are the same beliefs that Christianity is, and Christians should already believe at least most, if not all of the things that BLM teaches. 

“Black Lives Matter began as a call to action in response to state-sanctioned violence and anti-Black racism. Our intention from the very beginning was to connect Black people from all over the world who have a shared desire for justice to act together in their communities. The impetus for that commitment was, and still is, the rampant and deliberate violence inflicted on us by the state.”

This is the most important thing to understand about the BLM beliefs. This is their mission, their origin, their purpose. They are not called “Black lives matter,” to position themselves about other people, as many Christians are saying. To make themselves some sort of perfect race better than everyone else. The phrase is Black Lives Matter because they are not being treated like they do. Also, for those who believe this makes them Marxist, it is ridiculous to say that they are separating people out and saying only certain groups matter. First of all, because their focus is to help one certain group of people, that doesn’t mean that everyone else does not. Also, the divisions were already there, they are just pointing them out. 

“Every day, we recommit to healing ourselves and each other, and to co-creating alongside comrades, allies, and family a culture where each person feels seen, heard, and supported.”

This is such an important sentence. Here they are admitting that they are flawed and in need of healing, which is what Christians should be doing consistently. They are also are committed to working with others, including “family” which should be a beautiful testament to a desire to build up our community, and to emphasize the family which Christians should be excited about, considering how often we talk about “the family is under attack.”

We acknowledge, respect, and celebrate differences and commonalities.

God created us all different in so many ways. Christians believe that each part of the body of Christ is important and has a role to play, and since that is the case, we should be behind this statement.

We work vigorously for freedom and justice for Black people and, by extension, all people.

In some ways, this one is a given, but “by extension, all people,” will become more important as you read on.

We intentionally build and nurture a beloved community that is bonded together through a beautiful struggle that is restorative, not depleting.

So many people have used straw man arguments against BLM talking about how they want to stir up trouble, or they are so violent. The actual movement, wants to RESTORE not to deplete. They are clear that they are working towards beauty, not harm.

We are unapologetically Black in our positioning. In affirming that Black Lives Matter, we need not qualify our position. To love and desire freedom and justice for ourselves is a prerequisite for wanting the same for others.

(To the Marxist argument) It is not fair to expect an organization that is trying to help black people, to not talk about Black-ness, or be Black.

Also, Christians should be 100% behind desire freedom and justice for ourselves is a prerequisite for wanting the same for others because “love your neighbor as you love yourself.”

We see ourselves as part of the global Black family, and we are aware of the different ways we are impacted or privileged as Black people who exist in different parts of the world.

Again, it takes so much humility and courage to speak this way. They are also setting an example for what they mean by white privilege, or by ‘privilege’ in any context. They are not saying that privilege makes you a bad person, just that there is a different impact on different people and that matters.

We are guided by the fact that all Black lives matter, regardless of actual or perceived sexual identity, gender identity, gender expression, economic status, ability, disability, religious beliefs or disbeliefs, immigration status, or location.

Here’s where it gets a little trickier. All they are saying here is that, these LIVES MATTER. Many Christians tend to get offended whenever people talk about LGBTQ+ rights, but THESE LIVES MATTER. These are people, you may not agree with them, or like how they are living, but you should 100% believe that their life matters. Pro-life, from conception to natural death, MUST include these lives. In Jesus’ ministry, he sat with the sinners, and He saved an adulteress, we know that He valued all lives, even if you do think they are sinning. 

Also, did you notice they added religious rights in there? It’s easy to skim right past and forget that that is something we are fighting for too.

We make space for transgender brothers and sisters to participate and lead.

Again, they are not saying they are trying to make more people transgender, or that their focus is on them. They are saying that they make space for them to be a part of their community. Again, these people still matter, even if you disagree with their lifestyle, they should be allowed to be heard especially on these issues.

We are self-reflexive and do the work required to dismantle cisgender privilege and uplift Black trans folk, especially Black trans women who continue to be disproportionately impacted by trans-antagonistic violence.

This is where it gets a little murky for some Christians. Here you are right, they are saying that they want to help Trans people. The fact that they want to “dismantle cisgender privilege” may be a concern, because many Christians are concerned that the Trans community is ‘destroying gender roles.’ I am not going there today, because that’s a huge issue that is going to take a lot of writing to talk about, and I am trying to focus on this for now(we will get there at some point). However, BLM encouraged their readers to understand the need for dismantling this privilege by citing trans-antagonistic violence. They are trying to help you to understand that whether you believe in what Trans do or not, they are getting hurt, and that is not ok. As I’ve mentioned earlier, we should agree with that wholeheartedly.

We build a space that affirms Black women and is free from sexism, misogyny, and environments in which men are centered.

For more on why this is amazing and super Christian, check out FemCatholic.

We practice empathy. We engage comrades with the intent to learn about and connect with their contexts.

It is important to understand all of their beliefs in this context. 

We make our spaces family-friendly and enable parents to fully participate with their children. We dismantle the patriarchal practice that requires mothers to work “double shifts” so that they can mother in private even as they participate in public justice work.

In a world where the family is not valued, and mothers who want to have children are mistreated, this is a true pro-life stance, and it should be applauded, as well as their work to help families to work with them. 

We disrupt the Western-prescribed nuclear family structure requirement by supporting each other as extended families and “villages” that collectively care for one another, especially our children, to the degree that mothers, parents, and children are comfortable.

This is getting twisted and mixed up all over the internet and it is really sad. In America, we have developed this intense small-family structure that is just the parents and the children. Other cultures encourage extended families and other adults around to be involved in each others lives. Even in the very limited exposure to minority communities that I have, their families have a bond that I do not often see in the white community. They have aunts and uncles hanging out with them all the time, grandparents live with their kids, adults from other families help each other out with raising their kids. This community is so important and beautiful and something we should all be working toward. It is so frustrating to me that people are saying that they want to destroy the family. 

Also, it is important that they added “to the degree that mothers, parents, and children are comfortable.” They are anticipating your fears and concerns and trying to let you know, you are safe.

We foster a queer‐affirming network. When we gather, we do so with the intention of freeing ourselves from the tight grip of heteronormative thinking, or rather, the belief that all in the world are heterosexual (unless s/he or they disclose otherwise).

If you are a Christian and you made it through my other comments, this may be the rule that makes you step back. Depending on your denomination, you may believe that people are created as man and woman and created for each other in which case their problem with heteronormative thinking may feel like an attack on you. My own beliefs on this are super complicated and I am not really ready to articulate them because it would be a mess of words in ten thousand directions. However, it is important to remember that over and over BLM has discussed the importance of empathy, and every person feeling included. That “every person” included people of different religious beliefs, which may mean YOU.

Empathy helps us to see other people who are suffering the same thing, or something similar to what we are. Queer people have been through so much violence and pain, it makes sense through the lens of empathy that anyone trying to achieve justice should affirm them too.  From their perspective, all they are saying here is that man/woman only, and being attracted only to the opposite sex makes people feel they do not belong, and they want to make sure those people feel like they belong. or these people have suffered too, and we do not want them to suffer more. That’s a natural movement of empathy, and even if you do not believe that heteronormative thinking is a problem, I think we can all learn from the place of love that inspired this.

We cultivate an intergenerational and communal network free from ageism. We believe that all people, regardless of age, show up with the capacity to lead and learn.

This is so beautiful in a world where the pro-life are fighting against euthanasia and other issues against older people. BLM is reinforcing our stance that all life matters including those who are older, and also younger. 

We embody and practice justice, liberation, and peace in our engagements with one another.  Just…yes.


The End.

Okay, so that was long, if you made it through, thank you for reading. You have now read the beliefs of BLM along with my own commentary on them to help Christians to understand how they can still be a part of BLM. For any more information, please go to their website I cited above.

IN MEMORIAM. ❤


RE: White Girl, I’m Not Sure I Trust You Yet

There was this article I saw for about two seconds at one point a couple of weeks ago. It was on my newsfeed for a moment before it disappeared, but it has sat with me so intensely that I just want to respond to anyone who read that article and felt something.

Dear ‘White Girl I’m Not Sure I Trust You Yet,”

That is OK! I’m not sure I even trust me yet! Who am I coming into this thinking I know anything about this situation? In order to be helpful at all I have to say something and do something, but I’m constantly afraid I will say or do the wrong thing. I want to help, and I don’t want to hurt, but I know at some point I will hurt because I don’t have any frame of reference for how to do this.

In fact, I hate activism. I’m not into it. I don’t like conflict. I can be that fearful fragile little girl that so many people are mocking now, sometimes. When it counts though, I am fierce, but I try to hide how fierce I am sometimes so I’m trying to figure out how to be fierce right. It’s loaded with all of these conditions and demands and I don’t always know what I’m doing.

So, Black Girl Who is Not Quite Sure You Trust Me Yet-it’s ok. Me too. I’ll try to learn from you how to be trustworthy in your world.

With love,

White Girl Who is Working on It.

T.H.U.G.L.I.F.E. Part III: A Year Later

An old post of mine has been getting traffic the last couple of days. It is the worst time in the world for people to be reading that post. T.H.U.G.L.I.F.E. Part I I deleted, but I kept Part II because I made the clarification that I was specifically talking about the phrase itself not the issue.

You guys, I messed up. Part I was so stupid and oblivious I deleted it a while ago, but Part II being read right now in this context makes me want to cry. For those of you who haven’t read it, I talk about how the phrase The Hate U Give Little Infants Fucks Everybody made me think about abortion. It’s true that that is what I thought when I heard it, and that there is something powerful and universal about the statement. Right now though, that is the worst possible thing out of anything i have ever written that anyone could read.

Last week, a man died, and it was filmed. Still, the murderer did not get charged for two days at least? Then, when he did get charged, it was for third degree, and we all saw that it was not third degree. The sad thing is it was almost not surprising that this would happen! It is monstrous, and yet, it happens every couple months again.

Now, there is rioting in the streets, peaceful protestors getting injured by police officers, and people throwing hate at each other like candy at Christmas time. All because this small percent of the population doesn’t think this needs to stop.

I just want to scream, WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE???!!!

I got accused of white shaming because I said I have white privilege and the same person has been commenting on half my posts complaining about how we need to trust our police officers. NO. When our police officers are committing murder on film and almost getting away with it, we do not have to trust them.

When our freaking president thinks it’s ok to use violence for a photo op, we do not have to accept that.

When babies are growing up in a world where they don’t know if they will survive until their eighteenth birthday, WE DO NOT HAVE TO TRUST THE PEOPLE HURTING THEM!

What I should have said when I saw The Hate U Give is that this movie wrecked me. I sat in silence and horror for an hour afterwards. A million thoughts were rushing through my head. Accusations toward myself about ways I had been racist without knowing it, questions about whether things were racist or not, fear because I don’t know many black people so I didn’t even know where to start to learn how to help.

What I can say now, is that I didn’t hide. I spoke up, and I was stupid in the way I said it. I’m not going to take down Part II now because it’s part of my story, and this furthers it, but I am going to say I didn’t get what I was doing. I get it now. I was an idiot. I spent time this year watching movies, listening to music, reading stories to help me understand, and meditating on what I heard. I did not hide from what The Hate U Give did to me. I leaned into it and learned from it. I am still learning from it.

I am sorry for every single time I did not get it. I am sorry for the times I made this worse. I am sorry for all the times that I am not responsible for, but that still happened and are monstrous and evil. What I should have said when I saw The Hate U Give is I am so sorry that this is your reality and I cannot even comprehend the amount of pain that I am in over this, let alone what you must live with every single day. I am so, so, so, sorry that this is your life, and I want to help. I can’t fix it alone, but I wish I could. What I can do is stand here with you, educate myself, and scream out that what is happening to you is wrong, and do everything I can to help make the change. I am so so sorry.

With love,

SG

For the Jen Fulweiler’s of the Quarantine

Dear Jen Fulweiler’s of the Quarantine,

You all requested that if we are living our best life in quarantine you need us to lie, because you are struggling.

Here’s some truth, I’m not doing well. Not today. I was living my best life in quarantine, but the end of it is coming and I am falling apart. I suck at everything about capitalism and the type of motherhood that comes with it. I may have thrived with my husband home, but my thriving is about to be done. In approximately three and a half days, I go back to sucking at life.

The truth is, I do not have it all together, not even a little bit. I had it all together for a little while because I wasn’t alone. I had someone to bounce my crazy thoughts off, someone to encourage me when I was feeling low, or take over when I need to tap out. In those conditions, I can be a rockstar, I can soar and touch the clouds.

Alone? Alone I have a patience gene the size of non existence. Alone I make it through the day with desperate prayers and tv cuddles. Alone I am at the mercy of the toddlers and my own physical well-being that day. There’s no one to tap out to if my head feels like it is splitting open if it’s own accord, or if all I can do is grit my teeth to not scream at the 100th toddler shriek.

In three days, my darkness begins again. I’ll be ok because Jesus will be with me, but it is so freaking hard to be alone with toddlers all the time. I can’t go to my car to find the quiet, I can’t stop. I just keep going.

So yeah, I may have lived my best life in quarantine, but in the grand scheme of things quarantine was only a few weeks, and I really needed that win.

Love,

Me

Lie:The Problem with what John Cooper(of Skillet) said against Joshua Harris

https://www1.cbn.com/cbnnews/entertainment/2019/august/we-need-to-value-truth-over-feeling-skillets-john-cooper-reacts-to-christian-leaders-renouncing-faith

I grew up in the shadow of Joshua Harris’ “I Kissed Dating Goodbye.” The parents all around us were ecstatic and excited about this reverent and holy new way of dating, while I gazed on in horror and watched the future of my dating life crumble in the flames. You might think that sounds melodramatic, and, to be fair, this was my teen self, so it may have been, but if you knew the nights that my mom and I spent crying and screaming at each other, and how much time I spent crying into my pillow in confusion about sexuality and chastity, you would understand that it isn’t dramatic, if anything, it’s an understatement. I still deal with repercussions of the confusing anti-sex but pro-marriage theology put forth by those who adored Josh Harris and others like him.

When Harris came forward and renounced what he taught, admitting it’s flaws and being honest about the struggles and defeat it caused in his own life, I was devastated to hear the pain he is going through, but it healed my heart to hear him renounce it. I had lived by it because that’s what my parents and faith community believed was God’s word on dating, but I could see the damage it was doing while it was happening and I felt so helpless and confused by it. Harris humility in coming forward healed a part of me that had felt so ashamed of my own anger and confusion.

Much to my dismay, soon afterwards a singer I admire for his authenticity and raw honesty came out against Joshua Harris and Marty Sampson(the lead singer of Hillsong United who also admitted his struggles of faith.)

He said:

“Ok I’m saying it. Because it’s too important not to. What is happening in Christianity? More and more of our outspoken leaders or influencers who were once ‘faces’ of the faith are falling away. And at the same time, they are being very vocal and bold about it. Shockingly they still want to influence others (for what purpose?)as they announce that they are leaving the faith.”

I was so disappointed in this. First of all, because I really like Skillet and I felt personally misunderstood because this was such a deep part of my experience. More importantly though, this is very dangerous thing for a Christian to say.

Here John Cooper is showing a profound misunderstanding of what Joshua Harris is experiencing, and giving way to some ways of thinking that could be very damaging to Christianity.

Something I find very powerful and admirable about what Joshua Harris did is that once he believed he had done something wrong, he did not repent and slink into darkness. Instead, he did everything he could do to right what he believed was wrong. John Cooper’s mockery of his ‘announcement’ completely takes for granted the pain that must have come along Joshua Harris’ experience. As someone who experienced a great deal of suffering because of him, it meant so much to me to hear him admit the problems in his work. What he gave everyone who had ever been hurt by him permission to do is to stop battling the fear that he was right, because he wasn’t so they can rest. That is so incredibly valuable and Cooper is devaluing it.

Cooper’s words about how people who ‘abandon’ their faith shouldn’t go talking about it is similarly insensitive and actually dangerous. On a human level, it is cruel to suggest that if you lose your faith after being an evangelist you should then be sentenced to a life of silence like some sort of permanent punishment for not believing.

More importantly, though, saying something like that calls into question the integrity of those who are teaching Christianity. Genuine testimony comes from the heart, from a real experience of God, especially in Protestant circles which is something I love about them. Cooper seems to be saying that those who are in ministry should only be public about certain experiences. That immediately makes me want to ask, is he being honest? If he believes he can’t speak out if he disagrees, can I trust when he says he does agree?

Now, I know on some level this isn’t really what he is trying to say. However, it does give an impression of cultivated truth that has been a struggle for me in the Church. Painting over Christian lives to make them look perfect and free of any doubt ever hurts ministry because people who are not of faith or who are struggling with faith can see this lack of authenticity. They may not know what it is or why, but they can feel it. I can feel it. When people push a Catholic to only write the positive things about godliness, or when people edited saints biographies to make them look perfect, or when authority figures tell teachers not to tell the truth, this all adds up to create a narrative of Christianity as full of unreliable narrators.

I would rather praise Joshua Harris for being genuine and authentic and pray that he keeps seeking truth than to condemn him for coming to a different truth than me. I believe God is truth and He will bring good out of our authenticity. On another level, part of the beauty of the Christian life is in conversion, and if one is not allowed to admit the feelings of doubt, or the suffering one is feeling in relation to the faith, it negates the possibility of sharing that story with others.bAfter my own miscarriage and some other trials, I was very honest about my trials with faith for a long, long time. These people also knew when I was fighting to get closer and when I felt like giving up. When I share my stories now, the know the blood, sweat, and tears that went into my conversion, and they understand that I am different than I was when I first believed. I had my phase of “la la la God is good,” Christianity, and a phase of “FEAR God” Christianity, and I am always journeying through deeper and newer understandings of faith and lacks of faith, but I could not share that story if I believed I could only share it when I was right. In fact, and a little ironically, for a long time I couldn’t write this post for that very reason.

Overall, I think something that Christians need to understand is that there is a profound value to allowing someone their own real life experience. God has given us free will for a reason and we all pursue truth in different ways and from different angles. There is something beautiful and perfect in that even when it scares us. I am not saying that everyone is right about everything, but we can’t just force everyone to share our opinions, instead we should encounter them where they are at, and try to help them through their experience. What if John Cooper were to put down his high horse, and write to Joshua Harris and say, “Hey man, I cannot imagine the pain you must be going through. More than a lot of other people I can understand what it feels like to be held up on a pedestal for my faith. Can I be here for you through this?” Maybe they could actually learn from each other and experience a profound community instead of Cooper seeming to shove Harris into forced isolation for struggling with faith the way that every Christian does at some point in their faith life.

Note: This post is not about John Cooper, I don’t know him he could be perfectly non-judgemental in real life. However, this particular incident is an example of the kind of things I have heard Christians say a million times and it is a great example to explain why this attitude is damaging. Please do not hate on John Cooper if you read this. If you are in a position to Joshua Harris some comfort and love though, be my guest. 🖤

Angels as Patrons of LGBTQ

Did you know that Catholics do not actually believe that angels have a gender? As much as we refer to them as “he” and discuss them as these knightly men, because they do not have bodies, actual Church doctrine is that they do not have gender. It occured to me tonight as I was writing “he” when talking about an angel, that, in a way, that makes them the perfect patron ‘saints’ for those who struggle in some way with gender norms. (Quick note here: technically, angels are not saints because they are not human, however, there are a select few angels who are prayed to like the saints are, and they are often referred to as patron saints.)

I am pretty sure there is no saint that would better understand the feeling that comes with being referred to as a specific gender when you are not that gender than those who have it done so consistently. Granted, they are angels, so they may not care what we humans do, but we don’t know, maybe they do care. What if Michael is actually more feminine than we think of him, and ‘he’ would prefer to be called a ‘she’? Or maybe they would prefer a different pronoun altogether to encompass their body-less androgyny.

So, if you or someone you know is LGBTQ, especially Trans or having any sort of issues with their gender identity, ask the angels for their help. The archangels Michael, Raphael, Gabriel are particularly famous and helpful in need. They are great protectors and friends to have in the spiritual life.

Okay, Who’s the Undercover Catholic at Disney? Catholic Imagery in Frozen 2

A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I watched the live action Beauty and the Beast and were surprised to see the gorgeous Catholic sculpture atop the Disney Castle. My husband said, “Isn’t that Michael the Archangel?” and I had to admit it sure looked like him. Well, I blew it off as just because Beauty and the Beast takes place in an era of Catholicism in France, but now I’m not so sure. Frozen 2 had some definite threads of Catholicism running through it, and now I’m asking, “Who’s the undercover Catholic at Disney?”

WARNING: Obviously there are spoilers ahead, can’t talk about what something means without telling you what it is 😉

There are several major ways that Frozen II echoes Catholicism. I’ll start with the smaller ones that could be accidental, and close with the one that completely blew me away.

1. Discernment of Spirits(Ignatian Spirituality) – One teaching that is constant in the movie is “Do the next right thing.” Various characters give each other and themselves this advice, and then follow it-no matter the circumstances. In the beginning, Elsa is hearing a “call” and she doesn’t know whether it is good or bad. She tries not to listen, but something in her tells her it is right to follow the call, so she does. Later, Anna follows the next right thing even when it seems like all is lost.

Saint Ignatius’ teachings about Discernment of Spirits are all about trying to decide whether your feelings or gut instincts are right or wrong, and when in doubt, he teaches to do the next right thing.

2. Suffering – Of all of the movies I have seen in recent years, I don’t know that I have seen such a beautiful testament to how hard suffering is that also includes a message of hope. It isn’t singularly Catholic to teach this, but the degree to which they teach how to hope even when it feels like everything is hopeless feels pretty Catholic to me.

3. Christ/ Mary Analogy-

This is the one that I was completely blown away and surprised by. As little things kept adding to it, I kept asking myself, “Are they doing this on purpose?”

Note: I called this an analogy and not an allegory, because allegory is usually very specific and exact, but an analogy leaves room for experimenting and playing with ideas.

When the apostles would teach pagans about God, they would discuss the pagan “gods” or “spirits” or whatever group they belonged to, and they would talk about God as above all of them, or if there already was a “god” or “spirit” above all, they would equate God with it. In Frozen II, there is a fifth spirit above fire, air, earth, and water.

That spirit ends up being Elsa, who was sent to repair the relationship between Arendelle(the south) and Northuldra(the north.) She descends into the deep(sounding familiar?) talks to her dead Mother who appears to her, is frozen(killed) and comes back to life, saving Arendelle in the process. (Credit where credit is due here, I did not even notice the Resurrection part of this analogy, that was my hubs.) In order to make her death worth it, Anna convinces the earth giants to break a dam that then bursts forth in rushing water. Elsa then goes to live in the north, but continues to visit Arendelle. It’s a loose analogy, but there are elements of the Crucifixion, Resurrection, and Ascension here. In a way, Elsa is revealed to BE living water. I don’t know where else we have heard that phrase! 😉

Now, my husband picked up most of the Christ analogy, but there was also echoes of Marian spirituality. Anna calls Elsa the bridge to the north, but Elsa tells her it wasn’t just her, Anna was the other side of the bridge. Anna was the one who wept her heart out while we thought Elsa was dead, and Anna helped both lands in Elsa’s absence.

There also may have been echoes of Marian spirituality in Elsa’s character because Mary appeared to several different pagan cultures as a beautiful woman more powerful than their “gods” or “spirits,” very similar to Elsa’s character. Also, in James Joyce’s Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, he speaks of Mary as a pale woman in the water, which is what Elsa ends up being. Also, at the end her pale hair down, and pale white dress looked remarkably like Our Lady of Fatima to me, which isn’t a hard piece of evidence, but with the other evidence was kind of interesting.

So there’s my theories about the Catholic background of Frozen II, what do you think? Did you see any other echoes of it? I’m thinking at the very least we have an ex-Catholic working at Disney, or God is inspiring people, or we have a Catholic writer sneaking around the Disney studios, and I don’t have a problem with it!

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day

Dear Little One,

You were not here very long. Maybe we didn’t know you were you were here at all, or maybe we built a little life all around you. Maybe we had to return the little book we bought to give you, or maybe we cried in your nursery for months after you were gone.

However long you were here for, whether we knew you were here or not, whether we held you or not, you were a part of us. You were a part of our family and you always will be.

We love you, little one.

Mama and Daddy

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