A Plea

The_great_gatsby The green light

What if it wouldn’t die?
What if the corpse waking up inside your chest,
Could breathe one more time?

What if one more time didn’t have to mean
Another death, another axe to grind,
Maybe it wouldn’t have to mean
Hanging your head for eternity?

What would you do?
Would you just breathe easy and smile for just one day?
Would you sing and chant and take your own breath away?
Would you cry?

Would you take away everything you know hurts inside?
Would you stab that pain in a heart it doesn’t have?
Would you live one day like you could see?
Would you be great?

What if one more time didn’t have to mean
Another death, another axe to grind,
Maybe it wouldn’t have to mean
Hanging your head for eternity?

Catherine of Siena said
“If you are what you are meant to be,
You’ll set the world on fire.”
So many of us are afraid of that incandescent light.

I won’t pretend, my fear is strong, my friend.
I’d be a hypocrite to say that I breathe every day.
No, I’m writing because I suffocate.
Because every breath I take is precious

My breaths are few and far between,
But sometimes for just a moment I see paradise
But I’ve been afraid that maybe now I’ll never see it again
That’s why I have to cry out
In longing and despair,
Save me from this nightmare

What if one more time didn’t have to mean
Another death, another axe to grind,
Maybe it wouldn’t have to mean
Hanging your head for eternity?(4x)

Maybe it wouldn’t have to mean hanging your head for eternity.
If God is a person, Lord, Jesus, let me breathe.

The Fight

There’s so much to be said today,
It’s like my heart might explode.
Like I’m wandering in that space again
Waiting to unload.

There’s goblins and witches
And demons and worse
Clawing at my insides
Drowning me, curse

But I find comfort in the glittering night
Of Gatsby’s holy green light,
The hope that he somehow held onto
While despair chants, so young and beautiful

Like, I never got to be, or maybe not for long
Some of us grow up to fast to sing
Neurotic as children that’s how my best friend says
We hurt too soon, lost our innocence

and now There’s goblins and witches
And demons and worse
Clawing at my insides
Drowning me, curse

Drowning the breaths that are meant to destroy them
Clawing at the life that might surpass them
Demons begging me to turn back from the light
Dragging my head with witch and goblin grip
And I can’t find my way out,
And I can’t survive,
Without someone Insanely powerful
On my side

because there’s goblins and witches

And demons and worse
Clawing at my insides
Drowning me, curse

And I’m awake tonight in the early morning hour
Clawing at the dark
Two sides of me, one that cries this hour, begs that I sleep
Sleep, Sleep, Give in, Sleep.

A beat that solidly ticks away the life I wanted to live
Cutting in, creating a grieving heart with every moment,
I know I can’t survive if it keeps cutting this deep
I won’t breathe anymore soon, if I still can’t see

Humans can take so much more than they think
Like a press that never,ever buckles down,
Those horrifying machines that they crush diamonds in,
But everyone says they wouldn’t be diamonds without them.

But we all imagine the pain that diamond bleeds out in clear
Screams that life was never even close
How could I have even kept on going?
If everywhere around there was death and 

(4x)There’s goblins and witches
And demons and worse
Clawing at my insides
Drowning me, curse

 

My Prayer

“You can climb out of Hell, one inch at a time”
“You’re already in pain, get something out of it.”

The Lord is my Sheperd I shall not want, He maketh me to lie down in green pastures…Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me.”

Lord, I am walking through the Valley of the Shadow of Death. I am cloaked in the Hell I created for myself with despair, and laziness. I have been hit, Lord, and I have fallen. Give me the humility to ask for help, and to keep on moving. Help me climb out of this Hell, step by step.

Lord, my art does not blatantly praise Your Word in every line, it does not blatantly tell everyone your joy, but show in my light poetry that you are there, in my light acting, in my joy that you are there, and YOU show in my dark days, that you can go into the darkest corner and You can bring the light. Lord, I believe you can bring the light, and that is why I will not lie anymore. I will not lie. I am having a hard time, I am walking through a Hell of my own creation. God you protected Shadrach Meshach and Abendego from the fire, make me as hot as Iron and as Resistant to attack as a Diamond. Prove to me that I am priceless, bring me out of this hole of mine. Lord, I want to be all for you. I give it all to you. I want to be Yours Alone. Give me the power of your grace to do so.

Love,

Your Daughter

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