Lately I've been having a struggle that seems so stupid to me sometimes, but other times it is enough to paralyze me with anxiety. I have been struggling with being grateful for what I have when I want more. I think maybe I feel like it is inherently ungrateful to want things. The reason I... Continue Reading →
Ash Wednesday:What Religious Abuse looks like Ten Years Later
I hate going back to what happened to make me struggle with things. Those of you who know me are probably rolling your eyes. I don't blame you, because no matter how much I don't want to talk about it, I do it often. Im still trying to figure out how to exist in a... Continue Reading →
Fiction: Prologue
You guys, I just wrote this, and I am so proud of it. I'm going to be working it into a book, and I am really really excited for it. A few months after my first miscarriage, I started having a burning desire to have a threesome. My husband and I were struggling with intimacy... Continue Reading →
What my Miscarriage Taught me About Being Christian
Rachel Hollis said, "Everything does NOT happen for a reason, but you can FIND a meaning in anything." My first miscarriage is the first thing that came to mind. Every time I read "everything happens for a reason," my heart hardens and grows colder, the hair on the back of my neck stands up, and... Continue Reading →
#Checkyourprivilege
The Church was on my list of parishes to check out anyway, so when I realized it had the only Mass time that would work for me today, I hurried to the car. I went back and forth the whole drive over whether it was crazy of me to skip Mass at our home parish,... Continue Reading →
What the New York Abortion Bill Meant to Me
When I found out I was pregnant with Emma, my husband walked away from me, went upstairs and blared slipknot. I trembled downstairs in fear. When I was pregnant with Emma, my husband and I fought every single day. These were not little, meaningless spats. They were screaming arguments, "How are we going to pay... Continue Reading →
Losing My Virginity
Losing my Virginity “About an hour after the first time I had sex, I woke up in a cold sweat. I was so nauseous I thought I was going to be sick, and I couldn't breathe. I laid in a dark hotel room thinking I was going to die. I remember first walking into the... Continue Reading →
Searching for a Home
Today, I got up all bright and peppy excited for a day of submitting my work. I labored for hours over my lists of places to submit and realized I don't know where I fit. I've published some amazing stuff in mediocre ways, and I have work I'm proud of that no one has seen.... Continue Reading →
A Change?
What if I wrote something different? Like if I just wrote what I'm thinking Instead of getting all fancy schmancy With my flourishes from college.
Sabotage
It's crazy to me how promptly my psyche starts to sabotage any amount of success I experience. I self-published a book last night, and almost immediately the chorus began. "You just self-published, that doesn't mean anything, no one will ever read it anyway." I even started feeling like I was ripping people off who decided... Continue Reading →