A couple of weeks ago, there was a shooting in Texas that just devastated me. A couple days before I watched The Hate You Give, which rocked me as well. Both of these events are on the heels of, and preceding so many horrible tragedies and fearful events happening all over they world lately. I... Continue Reading →
5 Years Ago Today: Trigger Warning-Miscarriage
Trigger Warning: Miscarriage 5 Years Ago Today was the day I lost my first child. 5 Years Ago Today was the day she died. Today, I lived my life like nothing was wrong. I played with my double rainbow babies. I did the dishes. I cleaned the house. But I saw a butterfly and I... Continue Reading →
Jaded
Ever since I grew to adulthood, I hear the echoes of everyone who told me, "That's not real. That's a fantasy." Most of the time, I silence them With a wave of the hand, And maybe a deep breath, But then, Sometimes, a wave of grief comes, My heart begins to ask, "Were they right?... Continue Reading →
The Beauty of the Crucifixion
My entire life I have struggled with the Crucifixion. I could never wrap my mind around God allowing His Son to go through something like that. To be honest, I don't see that fully going away anytime soon, the problem of evil is my biggest hang up in life, and even when I find an... Continue Reading →
Ugly Cry, or, My Awakening: The Tension Between Cultivating Joy and Feeling Heard
Lately, I have been feeling like a ping pong ball in my own head. I'm learning a lot about a lot of things, but the problem is they all seem to contradict each other. I am learning how to cultivate joy, but I am also learning how to give myself space to be sad, I... Continue Reading →
Walls: Start with Love
Lately, I keep finding things that people say are rules or how things should be that are hard for me because I have walls up because of things that have happened to me. I learned this because I read a blog post about giving God our pain, and as I have been offering up my... Continue Reading →
The Abortion Bills
Tonight, my newsfeed is full of anger and sadness. Pain is manifesting all over the internet in 100 ways, from the women whose hearts are breaking over the children dying, to the women who see their own lives being torn away in front of them. There are screenshots being shared in all of my groups... Continue Reading →
The Power of Mourning Together: Intimacy after Trauma
Recently, I went through a period where I was thinking about my miscarriages a lot. I had made a short film about Emma, and I was grieving some other people who had died, and I had to work through some leftover anger at God for what happened with her. It is very hard for my... Continue Reading →
Embrace Your Cross
"Eloi, Eloi, Lama Sabbactani My God, My God, why have you abandoned me?" My God, My God, why did you abandon me? I gave You everything. No matter how hard everything was. I gave You my childhood. I gave you the feeling of being invincible that I never got to feel. I gave You my... Continue Reading →
Prayer of the publican
Dear Jesus, I have failed you time and time again. I have lost all hope that I could be your promised one. I want to believe that you could still use me, but I don’t know how. I mess up all the time, and in ways that have such huge consequences. God, money won’t fill... Continue Reading →
SUZANNA GORETTI 