Ever since I grew to adulthood, I hear the echoes of everyone who told me, “That’s not real. That’s a fantasy.” Most of the time, I silence them With a wave of the hand, And maybe a deep breath, But then, Sometimes, a wave of grief comes, My heart begins to ask, “Were they right? Does God give us dreams to take them away? Does … Continue reading Jaded
When I became a mom, I was terrified. I thought this meant I had to be into legos, Lincoln logs, and other little people toys and I was going to have to give up on everything I actually do love. The problem with this that a lot of people don’t have is that I wasn’t even into these things when I was a kid, so … Continue reading Finding Freedom in Motherhood
My entire life I have struggled with the Crucifixion. I could never wrap my mind around God allowing His Son to go through something like that. To be honest, I don’t see that fully going away anytime soon, the problem of evil is my biggest hang up in life, and even when I find an answer to satisfy me for a bit, there’s still this … Continue reading The Beauty of the Crucifixion
Lately, I have been feeling like a ping pong ball in my own head. I’m learning a lot about a lot of things, but the problem is they all seem to contradict each other. I am learning how to cultivate joy, but I am also learning how to give myself space to be sad, I am learning about how to let good things in, and … Continue reading Ugly Cry, or, My Awakening: The Tension Between Cultivating Joy and Feeling Heard
“Reading 1 Acts 15:22-31 The Apostles and presbyters, in agreement with the whole Church, decided to choose representatives and to send them to Antioch with Paul and Barnabas. The ones chosen were Judas, who was called Barsabbas, and Silas, leaders among the brothers. This is the letter delivered by them: “The Apostles and the presbyters, your brothers, to the brothers in Antioch, Syria, and Cilicia … Continue reading Acts 15: Christians Chill Out and Love
With all of the abortion talk going around, I have been feeling so sad. There is so much pain on either side. It’s hard for me to take a side because I feel like I understand the arguments and feelings on either side. I have felt unwanted and that feeling is devastating, and I have seen how that particular painful feeling wreaks havoc in the … Continue reading The Conversation about Abortion
Tonight, my newsfeed is full of anger and sadness. Pain is manifesting all over the internet in 100 ways, from the women whose hearts are breaking over the children dying, to the women who see their own lives being torn away in front of them. There are screenshots being shared in all of my groups of what other people have said accompanied by comments about … Continue reading The Abortion Bills
This Easter was a hard one for me so far. On Friday, I saw a headline out of the corner of my eye, “When Easter feels like Good Friday.” I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. As I crawled through lent this year, my refrain was, Easter is almost here, Easter is almost here. Now that it was here it was … Continue reading A Good Friday Style Easter
For the last few weeks, I’ve barely posted on here. I felt guilty and I insulted myself for it, but it wasn’t until tonight that I realized what I was doing. I have a bad habit of getting too caught up in what everyone else thinks about me. We have all heard that one, I guess, but for me it’s true. I am such a … Continue reading The Silence
I did a thing last night. It might be crazy. It may be a little arrogant? It takes a lot of arrogance to be an artist, or at least that’s what I tell myself so I won’t hide all of my work under a rock. Yes, this writing of mine is a conscious decision in favor of pride in the face of possible humiliation-in a … Continue reading Academy Nicholls, Here I Come
