T.H.U.G.L.I.F.E. Part III: A Year Later

An old post of mine has been getting traffic the last couple of days. It is the worst time in the world for people to be reading that post. T.H.U.G.L.I.F.E. Part I I deleted, but I kept Part II because I made the clarification that I was specifically talking about the phrase itself not the issue.

You guys, I messed up. Part I was so stupid and oblivious I deleted it a while ago, but Part II being read right now in this context makes me want to cry. For those of you who haven’t read it, I talk about how the phrase The Hate U Give Little Infants Fucks Everybody made me think about abortion. It’s true that that is what I thought when I heard it, and that there is something powerful and universal about the statement. Right now though, that is the worst possible thing out of anything i have ever written that anyone could read.

Last week, a man died, and it was filmed. Still, the murderer did not get charged for two days at least? Then, when he did get charged, it was for third degree, and we all saw that it was not third degree. The sad thing is it was almost not surprising that this would happen! It is monstrous, and yet, it happens every couple months again.

Now, there is rioting in the streets, peaceful protestors getting injured by police officers, and people throwing hate at each other like candy at Christmas time. All because this small percent of the population doesn’t think this needs to stop.

I just want to scream, WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE???!!!

I got accused of white shaming because I said I have white privilege and the same person has been commenting on half my posts complaining about how we need to trust our police officers. NO. When our police officers are committing murder on film and almost getting away with it, we do not have to trust them.

When our freaking president thinks it’s ok to use violence for a photo op, we do not have to accept that.

When babies are growing up in a world where they don’t know if they will survive until their eighteenth birthday, WE DO NOT HAVE TO TRUST THE PEOPLE HURTING THEM!

What I should have said when I saw The Hate U Give is that this movie wrecked me. I sat in silence and horror for an hour afterwards. A million thoughts were rushing through my head. Accusations toward myself about ways I had been racist without knowing it, questions about whether things were racist or not, fear because I don’t know many black people so I didn’t even know where to start to learn how to help.

What I can say now, is that I didn’t hide. I spoke up, and I was stupid in the way I said it. I’m not going to take down Part II now because it’s part of my story, and this furthers it, but I am going to say I didn’t get what I was doing. I get it now. I was an idiot. I spent time this year watching movies, listening to music, reading stories to help me understand, and meditating on what I heard. I did not hide from what The Hate U Give did to me. I leaned into it and learned from it. I am still learning from it.

I am sorry for every single time I did not get it. I am sorry for the times I made this worse. I am sorry for all the times that I am not responsible for, but that still happened and are monstrous and evil. What I should have said when I saw The Hate U Give is I am so sorry that this is your reality and I cannot even comprehend the amount of pain that I am in over this, let alone what you must live with every single day. I am so, so, so, sorry that this is your life, and I want to help. I can’t fix it alone, but I wish I could. What I can do is stand here with you, educate myself, and scream out that what is happening to you is wrong, and do everything I can to help make the change. I am so so sorry.

With love,

SG

T.H.U.G.L.I.F.E.

The

Hate

U

Give

Little

Infants

Fucks

Everyone.

-Tupac

Last night, I tried to watch The Hate U Give, the emotional true story of a black girl who watches her friend get killed by a police officer. Later, she is called to testify, but I haven’t gotten that far, because I had to take a break. (White privilege is that I was able to take a break.) The above line T.H.U.G.L.I.F.E. is discussed just minutes before the shooting happens.

The Hate U Give Little Infants Fucks Everyone.

This phrase resonates in my soul and it has taken up residence in my heart as a truth so powerful I almost can’t handle it, representing an anger in me that is boundless. For the last week, the image of the children of immigrants that got left at daycare because their parents were taken by ICE has been indelibly burned into my consciousness. There is also the image of black children being told by their parents how to act when a policeman comes so that they don’t get shot. Then, there’s the image of children wearing bulletproof backpacks so they have protection if there is a school shooting.

People call millennials entitled, but what does it do to a person to grow up with the fears we have? We watched as thousands of people died in New York City when we were little, and we were barraged with news coverage about the two kids who shot up Columbine. What will happen to the children that are suffering now? What does it do to a person to lose their parents to the government? What does it do to watch your child die because they went to Walmart?

The Hate U Give The Little Infants.

Our little ones are suffering in ways that are unimaginable. It is unbearable for me to even think of what is happening to them, the constant undercurrent of fear that must be crying out in their bones, and then all the people who are silent or who turn a blind eye, or say, “It’s not that bad!” If one child was abandoned because their parents suddenly disappeared, that is too many. If one child died in a shooting, that is too many. If one child saw the news coverage of any of this, and has to know they live in a world like this, that is too many.

The pain will come back to us. It already has in some ways. Our hope(as a country) is depleted, our children suffer from anxiety, our lives feel without meaning sometimes. We sit still while people are being hurt in unimaginable ways. I know we can’t spend every moment of our lives trying to fix every evil, but there are some really big evils going on, are we doing anything at all to fix them?

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑