Praying for your Husband

I am constantly hearing women ask, “How do I get my husband to do Dave Ramsey too? I’m on bored, but he is not.” I have so been there. I was so frustrated with my husband for years that I couldn’t convince him, and he wouldn’t hear me. We tried to do it once, but he just got frustrated with how preachy Dave Ramsey can be and wouldn’t finish it with me. I was patient with him about it, but it was really hard for me.

Then this year, I was incredibly stressed and despairing about money. Every time I talked to Patrick, I felt like he wasn’t hearing me. He would tell me everything was fine, or he would just get frustrated with me, and I would just get more frustrated with him. Out of nowhere, I found this prayer that I still pray today:

http://thywordisalamptomyfeet.blogspot.com/2013/06/prayer-for-my-husbands-work-finances.html?m=1

It is a prayer for my husbands work and finances, and immediately I started to see a difference in him. Just a few days later we got into the worst money fight we had ever had. We live with my parents, so there was that cherry on top too. At the end of it, I was just exhausted and I said, “Look, if we don’t do Dave Ramsey, I don’t think we are going to make it.” Miraculously, he said ok.

It hasn’t been sweet sailing the whole way, baby steps 1 and 2 are not easy at all, and staying on the path when you are low income is exhausting sometimes, but we are making progress, and our relationship is getting better, and we are becoming better people through the struggle we are facing, instead of letting our lives fall apart while we do nothing about it.

I still say this prayer as often as I can, I try to remember to say it every day when I can, because it really lifts both of us up and we can feel the grace from it, especially with financial worries. I am so thankful for this prayer, and for all the answers we have received through it.

The Black Forest

Before it happened, 
I was driving through St Louis-looking at power lines.
Just like Dallas-so many ugly power lines.
I hate when there are so many power lines everywhere.

DId I just not see these at home?
Every time I see these I wonder, why do I hate them
So much, an immense frustration every time
They offend my eyes and ruin cute little towns.

There was a sigh, and I gave myself some credit,
Colorado Springs MUST be better than these cities,
And Naples too…well…maybe, I don’t know
If I can remember anymore…

Well, maybe we have better tax programs?
When I voted, I voted for tax dollars right?
For help when bad things happen, 
And every day maintenance and beauty.

Well our tax dollars must be put to better use,
In both of my deepest homes, Body mother and alma mater, 
They take care of pretty streets better than everyone else.
But now their destroyed again.

Flames erupt from the pretty homes I remember
Everything I thought of as so much nicer than here,
Playing through my mind.
So much of it is only ash, and others haze.

I can see the houses that are fine,
The stores I was admiring from far away,
I know almost everyone is fine,
But I don’t want the Black Forest destroyed.

Please stop the violence upon the beauty,
So much joy within the tangle of the trees,
A place name now becomes ironic,
As the Black Forest turns from red to black.

9000 and 100

The numbers whenever I watch something like this just blow my mind.
8000-9000 square feet…..isn’t that more than last year.
100 homes…one hundred.
And it’s not contained

So much is safe, it’s like worry is moot,
Why be worried everyone is fine…Don’t be sad
But everything is NOT fine.

Those numbers. Maybe its self-absorption to actually BE upset,
Selfish to worry about a misfortune only slightly your own,
But….the numbers.

That’s homes I have lived in, maybe not mine, but belonging to mine,
The beautiful places that brought me joy,
The best brownies in the world,
Piano lessons,
The tiny little room where Angel came from.

What is this feeling? Or are there too many to explain it as one?
So many creepy crawlies rushing in and devouring
Everything inside my chest, my fingers, my brain.

Houses are falling down in my head,
Worry is eating bits of my heart,
But everyone there is so calm…why worry?
How can I when my house is standing…at least for now.

You have to almost wonder if it’s worse just to hear the numbers.  

Red Letter Day

Well today was another red letter day. One of those where the terror slowly grows in your heart until you explode in tears and everyone starts telling you, “Hey it’s just life. This is how it goes. Because THAT is somewhat comforting. ….except it’s NOT. Hey it’s life. Well then life sucks. And the answer to that? Yeah it does. 

WHAT?!

How can someone look at life, say it sucks, and then be like, OK, let’s just live it. Again…what? My reaction is like, NO. That is not ok. There has to be a way to fix that. Except there isn’t. So we end up knowing life sucks and grinning and bearing it.

I don’t like it. 

 

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